This is Why You Can’t Stick to Your Diet
Does this sound familiar?
Sunday night creeps in WAY too fast as you wonder how you got so "off track" with your food & workout plan.
You can't stop thinking about why you couldn't just stay on the freaking wagon! Ugh, and why did your friend have to bring those Cheetos over!?
Then you suddenly begin to overflow with regret, shame, and extreme guilt over all the ways you weren't "compliant" with your diet or meal plan.
"I was SO bad, and now I have to eat less and work out more this week to erase all the "bad" shit I did this week! Goodbye creamer in my coffee"
If that sounds like a typical day for you then keep reading…Because I used to always eat clean on Monday or follow my plan until about Friday night. But when Friday night hit, I was so burnt out from dry chicken and broccoli, that pizza delivered straight to my door and practically into my mouth sounded mystical and like it was the best idea since sliced bread.
... ohhhh bread...
After I devoured the pizza... so cheesy, so decadent, so temptingly scrumptious, and so seductively OFF LIMITS… it made me feel like I had broken a food rule and the Food Police were going to come and take me away in fluffy donut handcuffs for even smelling it!
-What? Do you not have a pair of donut handcuffs? - #donutjudgeme
At that point, the guilt and shame monster grew to an enormous size in my head and started telling me that "I wasn't trying hard enough." and that "I'm not being healthy if I can't follow this plan because I've already messed up too many times!"
So, I would give up and say, "F IT..." I'm just going to enjoy myself the rest of the weekend because I already screwed up. "Plus, that party is tomorrow, so I'll be able to eat whatever I want there, get it all out of my system, THEN start over again on Monday."
1. You have the last supper mentality
This is what's called Last Supper Mentality (thank you, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch) and where I would think thoughts like, "I better eat it all now to get it out of the house so these sugar and carb demons can't tempt me come Monday when I'm back on track."
But after I followed my diet like a boss Monday-Friday night, do you wanna know what came next?
Think of a commercial-grade hoover vacuum designed to plow through all the food I had deemed "junk" or "off-limits."
... I was the hoover.
Even if I wasn't hungry or truly craving those foods, down the hatch that "junk" would go.
And the binge/ restrict cycle continued, growing deeper and darker down its destructive path…
Suddenly, the weekends, events, vacations, and take-out nights became my time to binge before getting back on track for Monday’s cycle. On the weekends, I would be scarfing down anything in the pantry that looked even half empty. Down went the 14-day-old cupcakes I should've thrown away a week ago, along with the leftover soggy pizza… and oh, why not make that Pinterest mug cake I pinned and never got a chance to eat because #YOLO (for the weekend anyway).
My #YOLO brain developed this pattern of shifting into guilt and shame when the dopamine hit from eating quickly wore off and turned into a ferocious stomach ache.
Then Sunday night would roll around (kinda how I felt at that point, too), and I was absolutely MISERABLE. I would vow to myself that this coming weekend would be different! And I found myself habitually...
Stressed about how I needed to STAY ON TRACK to redeem myself.
Worried sick if I could have enough "willpower" to be "good" at the BBQ coming up.
Freaking out if I could come up with a good excuse as to why I didn't want ice cream when I picked my boys up from school because I couldn’t reward myself with a treat after being that bad!!
Frantic and searching for a new diet plan that was more flexible but one where I could still keep losing weight with.
And bargaining with myself if I should take away my snacks on Thursday because I might not be able to get a workout in.
2. You lost your control around food
It got to the point where if someone brought me my favorite candy or treat because they were thinking about me, I would get so angry at them for bringing home a "forbidden" food that I had been so "good" about avoiding... because I wasn't able to keep foods like that in the house without obliterating them to crumbs. And when someone brought me a coffee with milk in it... are you freaking kidding me... MILK?! "Don't you know I'm drinking black coffee this week?! Ughhhhh... Screw your gesture you just want me to get fat, don't you?!"
Then, when my hubby would ask where his favorite box of pop tarts suddenly went, I danced around the truth like a scapegoat on wheels and said something like, "I don't know, the dogs must've jumped up and eaten them." 🤷🏽♀️ (The weekend made me do it…)
Friends, I was a monster. My mental real estate was nothing but numbers, tracking, and thinking about food. And my social life was non-existent.
3. Symptoms of an unhealthy relationship with food
This got me thinking about how YOU might be feeling the same way.
You’re trying to stick to a diet but keep failing.
You feel like you can’t be healthy without being on some sort of plan or restriction.
You aren’t really sure what hungry or full feels like.
You try to avoid your hunger or mask it with coffee, gum, or water.
You consistently travel the binge/restrict cycle.
You can’t keep certain foods in the house without bingeing on them.
You can’t trust yourself eating out.
You’re either “on” or “off” with no in-between.
You feel like weight loss is your only chance at being healthy.
4. You need to break up with dieting for a bit
It's an interesting concept, isn't it?
Learning to trust yourself around food.
Thinking of health as self-care rather than self-control.
Giving up short-term power to gain back long-term control over your health.
Moving your body, not for calorie burn, but because it FEELS good to do so.
Honoring your Hunger and Respecting your fullness.
Leaving half a cookie on a plate!? *Magician status*
Focusing on your health rather than the scale.
Allowing your body to find its natural physique setpoint, then adding more structure from there if you feel the need to do so.
Dieting has a shelf life, and many of us need to have that hard conversation with dieting to tell it that we need some time apart before we lose ourselves.
5. Five steps to transition from chronic dieter to balanced eater
So really, how does this work? How do you end the dieting cycle, something you’ve likely been aiming for your whole life, and start eating just the right amount?
Ta-Ta-Daaaaa! (That's how my son said it when he was 2)
Here are 5 steps to begin making the transition from chronic dieter to balanced eater.
𝗔dd instead of subtract. Instead of telling yourself you can’t eat a certain food, ADD a nourishing food with it. Eating ice cream? ADD some raspberries to it. Eating mac and cheese? ADD some tuna and peas to it. You’re allowed to eat a cookie if you really want it but don’t make it your meal. Why not just restrict these foods? Because what you resist will persist, so stop resisting. Allowing all foods to fit, allows you to take down your previously forbidden foods from their pedestals so their intensity decreases. This will help you slow and eventually stop the binge/restrict cycle. Because without that dramatic 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘺 mentality, your fear foods will begin to neutralize.
Challenge the food police. You know those voices in your head that say, “You didn’t work out today, so you can’t eat that potato.” & “That has too much sugar!” Or “You shouldn’t eat this late!” …Challenge those voices. 🗣 Any food is ok in the right amounts. And you are here to investigate which amounts feel good to you.
Get curious about what’s driving your habits. Instead of creating hate for yourself after you’ve overeaten, ask what the underlying need was or what you hoped that food would fix/numb out. Were you upset? Did you need connection or to feel loved? Did you not eat enough earlier in the day? -Because undereating causes overeating. Or did you deprive yourself of satisfaction in your meals? Instead of getting upset, get curious. 🧐
Allow compassion. Contrary to popular opinion, compassion doesn’t mean you’ve given up on yourself. In fact, it will help you set boundaries for how you allow yourself and others to treat you. Perfection can often cloud our brains with thinking perfection = success. But perfection doesn’t exist because health means something different to everyone. Give yourself compassion during this journey & keep practicing these steps! 🥰 Even 1% is progress.
Change your progress marker. Instead of your goal being some 3-digit number on the scale, within the measuring tape, or in the size tag of your pants… try shifting your new progress marker to your effort, how many pushups you can do, how much further you can run, HOW YOU FEEL, your energy, etc. Health and weight loss are not mutually exclusive. Remind yourself that health is not a look, it’s how you take care of yourself.
6. Need more help?
Check out my NUTRITION BURNOUT Podcast series that sends you balanced nutrition, body image, and healthy tips straight to your ears. Listen to my unapologetic ramblings of how I coach people just like you to stop thinking about food 24/7 so they can live their healthiest lives. My goal is to help you build your body around the lifestyle you want to live rather than a number on the scale.
Download my free Plate Building System so you can dip into my food freedom toolbox, gain access to my balanced plate meal templates, and unlock my happy plate meal ideas.
Schedule a Private Strategy Call if you’re interested in hearing what it would be like to work with me. On this call, I’ll help you personalize a structured, 6-step plan to help you become a confident and effortless eater! Whether you end up working with me or not, this FREE call will give you the next crucial steps to putting your health on autopilot.
Check out my free Resources and connect with me on social media to gain the edge in balanced eating.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. I really hope we can connect soon! (Seriously, DM me on Instagram and say Hi 🥰 )
Love, your aggressively friendly new best friend,
Christi
